What Men Really Want?

Actually, it’s pretty simple but most women have the hardest time understanding a man. Deep inside the heart of every man is a secret wish to be trusted. How many times have men said to their wives, “If you would just trust me.”

Many men wonder why it seems so difficult for their wives to do something so seemingly simple. The answer stems from the physiological differences between the sexes.

It begins at birth when little boys are given a distinct physical advantage over little girls by having higher levels of testosterone. With testosterone comes the physical strength to both defend themselves from danger and/or run away from a threat.

Most little girls don’t have that ability. They don’t have the strength to defend themselves in a physically fight when they feel threatened. If a boy trusts someone who in turn hurts him, he can always defend himself physically (or try to).

Little girls don’t have that physical option of power. Since a person can only trust from a position of strength, those same little girls will grow up into women who naturally have a more difficult time “trusting” when they feel vulnerable.

So men, when you ask the woman of your choice to simply “trust you,” it’s not that she can’t, she’s just more vulnerable than you. If you want her to trust you, she needs something that will help develop that trust.

Perhaps even a tool or gesture that she can “count on” until that trust with you is established. Thankfully this tool already exists and is known by every woman. What cultivates trust in a woman is a man who consistently keeps his word.

Making a promise is meaningless if there is no follow through. Unfortunately, many women trust men too quickly and are stunned when their boyfriend breaks up with them after they discover that he wasn’t as romantic, loving or perfect as they were led to believe. Once this happens they often desperate to get him back.”

Allow me to illustrate. Imagine someone told you that I was the meanest person they had ever met. For months all you heard was how terrible I treated my family and friends.

Then one day you met me and during the course of our meeting you begin to notice that I didn’t seem to be as horrible as you were led to believe. I actually appeared to be rather pleasant.

Would you change your entire opinion about me from one visit? Probably not! However, if you saw me respond consistently with kindness and humility over a period of weeks, your opinion of me would begin to change.

A paradox has just been established. The kindness you have seen in me for the last few weeks does not match what you have heard about me. All the rumors of how mean I am begin to fade into darkness because of my consistent actions.

Over time what you see will replace most if not all of your concerns about my character. Men, when the woman you love sees your words lining up with your actions, trust will naturally follow. When you don’t keep your word it causes your wife/girlfriend to become fearful.

From her perspective, she has entrusted you with her Heart and WANTS to trust you. She simply needs your help in giving you what you want.

–Copyright by Bob Grant


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. copy/paste
    Sep 24, 2008 @ 10:47:07

    nice post~…
    helped me a bit in figuring out with my confusing situation..
    anyways, what uve been up to la?
    x rajin gi youthsays?

  2. Say - ahh
    Sep 29, 2008 @ 00:02:12

    Hmmm… very true. When you are in a predicament as mentioned above, you seem to idiotically nod in agreement to the statements above. We always quarrel over the fact that we dun get what each other wants the other to do/react/think. And, people come along pointing that the lack of communication resulted in not being able to settle the issues on hand.

    It is weird, I kept walking around saying “You dun know what you’ve got till it’s gone”. The thing is, who is the one who knows then?

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